I can't withstand violence in a relationship. I was once a victim. The relationship lasted for about three/four years. I didn't know who I was then. I was so timid, I almost stopped smiling and almost stopped laughing, but there was this inner strength in me that helped me to rediscover myself. In fact, I had no self esteem then. I wanted to change and be who I was not, based on the ill treatment and violent nature of my man then. He was constantly abusing, beating and battering me inside the house and in public places. I think there was a time when I walked round with bandage on my leg, courtesy of my violent lover. Funny enough, this violent lover of mine claimed to love me and wanted to marry me then.
I wanted to marry him. I had started buying pots and other household items because I was in love. I wanted to settle down, I wanted to have my children with him. I wanted to be happy and continue to do my work but he was that bad. I kept think he would change, but he didn't. I tried my best to be everything to him, but finally I said enough was enough, this relationship was not of God and not for me. During those turbulent periods, I was ashamed. I couldn't tell anybody. Why did I stay? It's very ironical because after the beating comes the gifts, the begging, the cries and words like 'It's your fault, I'd try and change, it's not me..' Everybody will now be saying forgive him, he's begging. In one of the beatings, he broke my ankle..but let's not dwell much on things of the past.
I cannot tell you his name, we are both separately married now and still waxing stronger in the entertainment industry. Those that knew us then know the person and they also know his name.
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I don't understand why some women shield violent men. Why would you not want to mention his name? Someone beats you silly for many years, you do an interview and you refuse to call him out? Who do you think she's talking about? Sammie Okposo maybe? I've never liked that man...now I know why!
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